I’ve been an addict for more than 10 years

And once in a while I still shed a few tears

Seemingly unable to relinquish my fears

You see, I’m killing myself, one hit at a time

Slowly degrading this beautiful mind

Constantly editing my story line

And Its not that I’m addicted to any particular deed

I just enjoy doing things that make me feel like I’m not being me.

Whatever it takes to create that artificial reality

Just chasing that escape

That momentary break

That meaningless mistake

You know,

Just a small taste

Something to help me get, to my special place...

It’s been said that people do things for one of two simple reasons

Either because of the pain, or for how it pleases

Which makes addiction… the worst of diseases

A self inflicted ailment of mind

Constantly looking for “just a good time”

Desperately searching for…

Wait, did someone say something about a line?

Just kidding, I’ve never done coke

That last line, was just a good joke

But seriously, the last decade, up in smoke

Taking my breaths out of a bong

Unable to move past the urge for too long

Stuck on something that feels so god damn wrong

Constantly searching for an old version of me

constantly longing for my soul to be free…

Looking to remember my world before all the pain

Before the permanent scars in my brain

Before everything started to feel the same

Before I started to question whether I’m actually still sane

Or for how much longer I can play the same game

Until it all falls apart

Until I break another heart

Until I lose it all again, before it even starts

After all, these are just thoughts dancing inside of my head…

Just a few words, that you’ve never read…


Fuck it

I’ll just go get high instead.